Compassion-Focused Parent Training

By Dr. Adam S. Weissman

www.childfamilyinstitute.com 

Overview

Compassionate Parent Training or Compassion-Focused Parent Training combines the most evidence-based positive parenting strategies for child anxiety, self-esteem and behavioral challenges with compassionate, parent-centered therapy drawing from CFT, CBT, DBT, Schema Therapy, Rogerian/Humanistic Therapy, Shame Resilience and Attachment-Based Work.

 

Most parenting programs offer a series of didactic skills that focus exclusively on the child as the “identified patient”, and the parent as the expected agent of change, without intention or regard for the therapeutic relationship between parent and therapist. For many parents, this approach may feel blaming and judgmental, triggering our own often deep-seated shame, trauma, anxiety, resistance, and perfectionism.

 

CFPT understands that each parent brings their own psychological and cultural histories, including intergenerational trauma, into the therapy room which is deeply connected to their personal views on parenting, their strengths and limitations as a parent, and their desire, readiness, and ability to implement evidence-based parenting techniques to enact lasting change in the parent-child dyad. CFPT focuses on deepening connection, insight, and trust between the parent/s and therapist, actively breaking down both emotional and pragmatic roadblocks to skills implementation, while re-shaping and strengthening the parent/s’ own attachment style and identity as a parent. In this way, the parent-therapist relationship, and processes including empathy, trust, compassion, cultural humility, structure and consistency, non-judgmental validation, normalization/destigmatization, appropriate self-disclosure, and therapist modeling of imperfection and humility, become foundational to engendering parent safety and empowerment which enables parents to empower their children via these same processes, building confidence, safety, and self-esteem leading to lasting change within the interconnected parent/s, child, and family system. In a sense, the therapist-parent relationship serves as a microcosm  for rebuilding the parent-child relationship, providing structure, safety, perceived control, skills to manage difficult or unwanted emotions, and clear paths toward (imperfect) progress for both parent/s and child alike.

Approach

Module 1: Intro to CFPT 

1.1 The Foundations of CFPT 

Why combine evidence-based parenting strategies with compassionate, parent-centered therapy?

• Most parenting programs offer didactic skills focused exclusively on the child as the “identified patient” and the parent as the expected agent of change, without intention or regard for the therapeutic relationship between parent and therapist.
• For many parents, this approach may feel blaming or judgmental, triggering our own often deep-seated shame, trauma, anxiety, resistance, and/or perfectionism, leading to challenges in skills implementation, mastery, and maintenance.
• CFPT understands that each parent brings their own psychological and cultural histories, including intergenerational trauma, into the therapy room which is deeply connected to: 
  • personal views on parenting
  • strengths and challenges as a parent
  • desire, readiness, and ability to implement evidence-based parenting techniques to enact lasting change in the parent-child dyad
• CFPT focuses on deepening connection, insight, trust, and compassion between the parent and therapist, actively breaking down both emotional and pragmatic roadblocks to skills implementation and maintenance, while re-shaping and strengthening the caregiver’s confidence, attachment style, and identity as a parent.

 

1.2. “Mirroring” and the Caregiver-Therapist Relationship as a Microcosm

Mirroring: Exploring the parallels between the therapist-parent relationship and the parent-child relationship.

• The parent-therapist relationship, and processes including empathy, trust, compassion, cultural humility, structure and consistency, non-judgmental validation, normalization/destigmatization, and therapist modeling of imperfection and humility, become foundational to engendering parent safety and empowerment thereby enabling parents to empower their children via these same processes, building confidence, safety, and self-esteem, leading to lasting change within the interconnected parent, child, and family system. 
• In a sense, the therapist-parent relationship serves as a microcosm for rebuilding the parent-child relationship, providing structure, safety, perceived control, skills to manage difficult or unwanted emotions, and clear paths toward (imperfect) progress for both parent and child alike. 

Module 2: Caregiver Empowerment & the Parent-Therapist Relationship 

2.1 Addressing Caregiver Shame, Trauma, Anxiety, Perfectionism, Insecure Attachment, and/or Lived Experience with Racism

• Understanding parent psychological and cultural histories in shaping parenting views and behaviors.
• Recognizing and addressing the impact of shame, trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, and structural racism/prejudice in their parenting experience (Shame Resilience, CBT)
• Understanding the caregiver’s attachment style, schemas, or modes, and their impact on the parent-child relationship (Schema Therapy, Attachment-Based Work)
• Implementing techniques to manage these emotional roadblocks effectively (CBT, DBT)

 

2.2 Building Trust, Compassion, and Empowerment 

• Implementing compassion-focused therapeutic interventions, including techniques to re-parent, reshape and strengthen the caregiver’s identity as a compassionate, competent, and empowered parent (Compassion-Focused Therapy, Schema Therapy, Attachment-Based Work).
• Nurturing the parent-therapist bond to reduce shame and stigma and build parent confidence, mastery, and self-esteem in their parenting journey (Humanistic, Shame Resilience)
• Empowering parents to empower their children through:
  • “Radical Compassion”
  • Non-Judgment
  • Collaborative Problem-Solving
  • Appropriate Self-Disclosure/”Joining”
  • Therapist Humility, Authenticity, and Modeling of vulnerability, imperfection, and managing difficult emotions (Rogerian Therapy, DBT, Collaborative and Proactive Solutions). 

Section 3: Compassion-Focused Parenting Practices

3.1 Core Components and Objectives 

• Teach evidence-based parenting strategies, with compassion, to address anxiety, self-esteem, and behavioral challenges in children.
• Enhance the quality, consistency and strategic use of parental attention and positive reinforcement in the home environment.
• Continue to improve caregiver-child attachment and family emotional climate via the therapist-caregiver attachment/relationship (e.g., “mirroring”), including therapist-parent role-play/modeling of:
  • Evidence-based skills
  • Managing challenging emotions, habits, or behaviors 
  • Imperfection, vulnerability, humility, and appropriate self-disclosure/”joining”
• Reduce child anxiety, behavior problems, and parental self-doubt, and build a sense of structure, safety and perceived control (for both the parent and child), via customized, positive reinforcement-based skills, scaffolding, and relationship-building strategies

3.2 Positive Parenting Skills 

• Parent engagement and empowerment through compassion, shame resilience, validation, humor, and appropriate self-disclosure/joining
• Evidence-Based Assessment
• Psychoeducation about Child Behavior/Development
  • The “4-Factor Model”
• 1-on-1 Time
• Praise 
• Active (Planned) Ignoring
• Effective Instructions 
• Rewards 
• House Rules

3.3 Individualized Treatment Planning Strategies and Empowering Parents toward Effective Skills Implementation

• Tailoring evidence-based concepts to the specific needs of each child and family via real-time feedback, modeling and role-play.
• Supporting parents in overcoming (both parent and child) resistance, shame, and perfectionism in skills implementation through: 
  • Therapist compassion and humility.
  • Deemphasizing labeling and stigma and focusing instead on alleviating symptoms (or behaviors) of distress. 
  • Reminding parents that many behavioral science concepts are counterintuitive, which can challenge their natural caregiver instincts.
• Providing parent handouts as supplementary resources (e.g., MATCH-ADTC).
• Providing clear paths and metrics for (imperfect) progress and celebrating small, incremental successes, of both the parent and child.
• Using ongoing evidence-based assessment to optimize idiographic case conceptualization and monitor therapeutic progress, including:
  • Parent Empowerment (Parent Empowerment & Efficacy Measure)
  • Emotional and Behavior (Brief Feelings Survey, Top Problems, Child Trauma Screen)
  • Relational Change (Therapeutic Alliance Scale for Children, Clinician Cultural Sensitivity & Satisfaction Questionnaire)

 

Concluding with Compassion 

 

Compassionate Parent Training or Compassion-Focused Parent Training is a transdiagnostic, integrative treatment that builds on and enhances existing behavioral parent training techniques, offering a compassionate and empowering approach to support parents in fostering lasting change in their and their children’s anxiety, behavioral, and/or self-esteem challenges. 

 

By deepening the parent-therapist relationship and incorporating evidence-based parenting strategies in a safe, collaborative, compassionate, and culturally-sensitive manner, therapists can create a supportive and transformative therapeutic experience for caregivers that “mirrors” and engenders positive changes within the interconnected parent, child, and family system.